Friendship
**THIS POST IS NOW CLOSED**
See you on Monday.
-Mr. R :o)
What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
-- Aristotle
I know that it has been a while since we have had a post...but here we go.
These past few classes we have been talking about friendship and all of its different facets. for this post I want you to think about the following questions. Really think about it first before answering.
Think about your friendships that you have...
Based on what we talked about in class, the different levels of friendship, answer the following:
- Where do most of your friendships fall? Why?
- Do you feel that most people are scared to have close realtionships? Why?
- Are you scared to have close realtionships? Why?
Finally respond by writing a paragraph reaction to these thoughts from the Persians:
“In Persian, there are four levels of friendship each relating to a degree in closeness and intimacy:
- Aashenaa (to know someone casually),
- Doost (a close friend)
- Rafeegh (your best friend)
- Yaar (your inseparable lover).
However, these levels are independent of the type of physical connection you have with someone. These degrees of closeness explain your deep soul connection with another being; your spouse, therefore, may only be your Aashenaa, or you may have a perfect platonic relationship with a Yaar. Some mystics measure their intimacy with God and the Beloved by using these levels.
"Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still likes you." -- Elbert HubbardI love you all, be safe, and be sure to respond by FRIDAY, NOV. 3rd
-Mr. R :o)
posted by Theology IV at 8:38 PM
14 Comments:
If you meant falling under a category, friends fall under the category of the annoying yet funny person that occasionally messes up and you still accept them and respect their wishes. They fall under that because friends are just that your annoying brothers and sisters that you love no matter what.
Am I scared to have close relationships? hmmm... I guess I am, I try not to let people get close to me because what happens if in the end they do betray me. already I feel used and betrayed by somepeople that I did call friend. I guess because my mentality is if it has a pulse it can betray you. People are unpredictable and confused, panicky(if that is a word) and paranoid. In this dog eat dog world trust is replaced with hate and Love is replaced with immediate gratification. That is why I'm scared to get close. The people around me are scared of having a close relationship with someone because they might figure out something about themselves that only a friend can tell them and the thought of being imperfect and vulnerable haunts them. People show their good side to acquaintances, People show everything when they are with friends.
If the world were perfect we wouldn't need a friend to stand by our side if something goes wrong. Thank God for imperfections.
Most of my friendships would fall under the category of close friends or Doost. They mostly fall under this category because i can talk to them about stuff like school, clothes,and shopping. The friends that i have in this category are mostly girls. They are my close friends because I am comfortable with them and they accept me for who I am.
I think that many people are scared to have close relationships because they are scared to trust others with their thoughts, emotions, and feelings. For this same reason, people usually tend to only have a select few as best friends. Which is why best friends are in a category of their own.
I am not scarred to have close relationships because I feel like i can be honest and open about my feelings with my best friends and my inseperable lover. And for this reason, i too am not scarred to be there too listen to their feelings.
I think that the persians are the founders of the modern day friendship caste system. The four level system of friendship that they developed can still be seen today. They have the Aashena who are basically aquaintances. Then they have the Doosts who are close friends and the Rafeeghs who are best friends. The only thing seperating the two are the levels of trust in each relationship. And finally, you have the Yaars who are like your spouse of lover. All of these levels of friendships can be traced to the system founded by the Persians.
For me, most of my friendships fall when I see that they're just in it just to be in it...meaning, they dont want anything more than just calling you a friend! They fall because I'm the type of friend who wants to get to know you past just your name and all that! But if youre not willing then theres nothing I can do about it, right?!
I strongly feel that a lot of people are afraid of having close relationships with others because of no trust, no loyalty and no honesty! They feel that insecurity of being betrayed. I myself have a hard time trusting people because of things that have happened in the past. although, the past is the past but I truly believe that the past has a lot to do with who you are today...what you've become! It's hard for me to trust because there were too many times where many people told me I could trust them and made me believe that and then one day do something that backstabs me! I dont know...I know that today...I have a TRUE friend who I can REALLY TRUST and I dont have to worry about any of those things! And yes Heather Ann, IM TALKING ABOUT YOU!! LOL. She's proven to me that my trust in her is in good hands and that she will never abuse it...and the other way around as well! She's one friend that I wish to keep close to heart!
Some friendships fall because people grow apart. I mean, you could literally be distant (as in a physical sense) or you just lost interest, and of course some friends go through really tough times to the point where it seems unforgivable.
Most of my friendships fell because of the distance. I try to keep the friends that I've made, but distance makes is impossible. Then we just move on and make new ones. Every now and then I'll say hi, but it's not the same.
I'm not too sure about why people would be afraid to grow close to someone. It could be because they are afraid to open up and become vulnerable. Sometimes I'm afraid to become close to people (depending on who the person is) because I'm afraid to develop stronger feelings. Most times, relationships start off as friendships and go beyond that, get ruined.
I believe the Persian philosophy on friendship. It is very true. It reminds me of what we learned in class. If you're lucky you could have all of these types of friends and maybe more than one. But of course only one Yaar. hhaha....if you have more than one, hopefully not all at the same time.
I strongly agree with Mr. Elbert Hubbard. I have friends that I know pretty much everything about..flaws and all. And I still love them...even though I disagree with some of the things that they do. And i love that they almost never pressure me to do stuff.
They also know things about me and don't put me down for it.
HEATHER..
I think most friendships fall when trust is lost. I know that most of my friendships end when my friends lose my trust. When i lose trust in someone i feel betrayed and hurt. So in the end the friendship means nothing to me.
I think people are afraid to have close relationships. I think they're scared, they're scared to be close to people cause some where deep inside they want to be close to others.
I'm scared to be close to people because i dont want to get hurt and closeness means being vulnerable. But still even though im scared i want to get close to people. I guess that's why im scared cause i want it but sometimes the things you want can hurt you and that's what i dont want. And the people i want to be close to i dont want to remember them as the one that hurt me if they do. I see being close to someone is leting them into your life and into your heart, i think that's a big risk leting someone into your heart. But then again taking risk is the best way to live life.
Fall as in fall apart...well it would probably be when someone betrays the trust of the other because trust is a big thing and once it's betrayed it's hard to get that person to trust you again, then things just start going downhill from there.
................or.................
fall as in...fall into a category. well most of my friendships would fall in the "close friends" category and it's really hard to keep them there but i try.
I don't think people are scared of having close relationships, i think that they're more scared of losing the relationship so they just try to avoid them altogether.
I'm not scared to have a close relationship because if your scared of something as simple as a close relationship you can never really grow as person because you're just stuck in one stage of your life and you'll never move.
The Persians are smart...and that's all i have to say about that.
Most of my friendships fall under collaborators. They fall under collaborators because when i am finished working with someone or playing with someone in a sport, it is usually strictly work within that activity. So when everything is over the friendship kind of ends there.
Yes, i think people are scared to have close relationship because of the fear that they might become to attatched to one another.
No, i am not scared to have close relationships with others because i know who to trust and who not to trust.
The persians levels of friendship are kind of the same levels as the ones we talked about in class. You have Aashenaa, a casual friendship. I think its the same as collaborative friendships or buddies or acquintances. Doost who are close friends. Rafeegh, your best friend/. Yaar someone you love and cant live without. And all these you can still find up to now.
- Most of the friends i have are probably considered "close friends." The kinds of friends i can share my life with and just flat out share my emotions with. I think mostly everybody's friendships fall under this category.. just b/c everyone wants to and needs to have at least a select group of friends for comfort, for suport, for advice, and just someone to make memories with..
- I think if someone has been traumatized by being left alone then yea they will have trouble forming a close relationship with someone. It is kind of hard to become genuinely close to someone. I think most people are scared of just opening up to anyone and revealing their real down to earth self.
- No, i am not scared to have close relationships. i can easily trust someone, but once i find out that they are not trustworthy it is very hard for me to learn to trust them again.
- I think the persians really treasure their friendships.
*rachel
Most of my friendships would probably fall under collaborators because my friends and i do a lot of stuffs together but then i still cant say that i know them really well. we all hang out and talk for a moment but then afterwards we'll all go back to our little "cliques" or "crews". But then i still have few close friends. i still have those people who i could always depend on. But there's not that many.
i dont think people are scared to have close relationships because there's nothing wrong with having close relationships with others. But i think the reason why some people are scared to have close relationships is because they get attached to that person and its hard when its time to let go.
Im not scared to have close relationships because thats the only way im going to know people, inside and out. Having those people that are close to me tells me that i always have someone to depend on when i need help.
the persian's levels of friendships are the levels of friendships that we have today. All of us have our Aahaenaa, doost, rafeegh, and yaar.
I have a few really close friends, that I tell everything to, and im really comfortable around and trust. But I would have to say that most of my relationships with people are acquaintances. Mainly because it's hard for me trust people. I think I'm a pretty outgoing person, but when it comes my feelings & emotions, it's hard for me to really open up.
Yes, I think most people are vulnerable to be part of the "it" crowd. And that they take too many chances and are scared of NOT having friends. I also think that people are scared to open up and trust people, which is why most of us have less of close relationships, and more of hi & bye friends.
No & Yes. I am not scared because I know who to trust and who I shouldnt. And at the same time, I am scared to have close relationships with people because I don't want to put my trust in someone and really open up and then be stabbed in the back.
The four levels of friendship can still be found today. You have your Doost, or close friend. Aashenaa, who is like an acquaintance, or buddy, someone you know, and you acknowledge, but dont really talk to. Rafeegh, who is your best friend and tell everything to. Yaar, to me is like a best friend relationship but on fire! someone you can give your whole heart to, and who is going to be there and support you through thick & thin.
Most of my friends fall under the category of a DOOST, weird word, but yeah, basically a close friend. I mean its cool to have those casual friends, but it seems pretty messed up when your like yeah i only know there name or something. the people i meet, i want to know stuff about them and who they are and what they are about.
Yes i feel that alot of people are scared to have close relationships with others, because a close friend is someone who you can share your feelings to. Now if everybody was a close friend then they would all know how you feel.
No, i am not scared to have close relationships. As long as the people i talk to dont tell anyone else. Like you can have alot of close friends that you can talk to and joke around with, but best friends, "RAFEEGH", are hard to come by.
i think that our levels of friendship are very similar to those of the Persians. though i think that they started these levels. their four levels are like imbeaded in there culture and it has been around for centuries. but yeah, i really think its cherry that our cultures of freindships connect.
I think that most of my friendships now are 'Doost'. The reason I think that is because my friends and I don't just say Hi...we hang out and catch up on what we miss considering I'm always busy at some point in my life right now.My old friends and I find it hard to keep our relationship as it once was but we still try.My new friends that I have made this school year have passed Aashenaa and going into Doost.I think the more your around them the more your comfortable in the same enviorment their in.
I sometimes feel that the closer I get with my new friends, the farther I stray away from my old friends. Im scard that I would loose my relationship to the people whom I've told my deepest secrets to, the friends that has been there for me when I needed someone to talk to.But people change and I know that they realize that too. I may have been scared to be close to my new friends now or have a close relationship with people, but like I've said people change and I think I've overcome my fear of loosing my relationship with my old friends and becoming close with my new friends.
i think that people are scared to have a relationship with other people is because they want to hold on to their old way of life. a life with the same people and the same enviorment. I think that their scared of relationships because their not comfortable with how their life is at that moment.
Most friendship falls as you grow up. Basically, as things or people change. Why? Because thats how life is. People change and create interests in new and different things. Its maybe not by choice, but by what life throws at you. True, majority of people are scared of changes but you have to take it run with it. And so having different interests and personalities friendships grow apart.
I definitly feel that most people are afraid of having close relationships because the fear of being let down; the fear of getting hurt. And thats completely normal because NO ONE I KNOW WANTS TO GET HURT NOR LET DOWN. At the same time though, those people that are scared of having close relationships are the most that need it; need someone to comfort them; to be with for them; to trust in them; to trust for them.
Am i scared of having close relationships? YES and NO. i have close relationships but it took me forever to open up and get close. Just because i've been hurt before and lost complete trust in others. But i learned later on that you HAVE to trust; you HAVE to open up; you HAVE to let that other person in; and i cant dwell on the past and let it affect me today. Im scared of getting hurt or let down but not scared of close relationships.
I dont agree with the Persian terms of the types of relationships. Your spouse cannot be just someone your casually close with. And a platonic relationship with your unseperable lover? makes no sense. You need to be intimate spiritually and physically or it has no meaning.
Most of my friendships fall under close friends, I guess it's because my friends and I are pretty close.
I think that people are scared to have close relationships because maybe it's just not for them or maybe they're just scardy cats and they're afraid to get hurt.
I'm not scared of close relationships because I'm willing to try new things and not to be cocky but I'm not really afraid of anything I think that I've experienced many things in life and nothing really hurts my feelings anymore I don't really care about the opinions of others.
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