The Fear of Love
Think about it for a moment...
Do you think that this is true?
Based on what we have been talking about in class and also with your own thoughts what do you believe causes us to fear love? Why is it something that we are so afraid of? Why is that we often run away from love? Keep in mind the definition that we have come up with about what love is. In case you have forgotten, refer to the book. :o)
God bless,
Mr. R. :o)
This post is worth 25 pts.
Just some thoughts...
I am loving the comments so far! They are honest and that is important. Be sure to take a look at what other people are saying. I love Crispy's quote!
Please do not think that there is a correct answer, I hope that what you are realizing is what Nick Q was saying in class: Its hard to know what love is because we are still trying to find out who we are...but that is a part of it!
MR R. :o)
This post is now closed...I know that it is early, but I am getting tired.
Remember though if you post before 12 AM it will be time stamped thusly and you will receive the points.
We have a lot to talk about tomorrow. PLEASE BE PREPARED TO SHARE AND TALK ok?
Goonight and God Bless!
See you tomorrow,
Mr. R :o)
posted by Theology IV at 6:51 PM
17 Comments:
Yes, I do think it is true. We are raised as children to love our parents. Then as we reach the teen years, we are scared to let our love reach out to others. The way I think it is like this is because we are scared that we are going to have problems and the love we shared would end up shattered. A lot of us are raised with only one parent. Most of the time it is from a death. But there is that other part that is because our parents do not love eachother as they used to. With us having to go through that, seeing what our parents went through scares us because we do not want that to happen to us. We are afraid to let love in because we know that we may not be able to keep it forever. That is something we all want. We want to be able to find that right person and to be able to have that person as ours for the rest of our lives. But we have to have those trial runs first. I think that is what hurts the most.
My ex-boyfriend was the world to me. I really thought that we would be together always and forever. When we broke up, it broke my heart. I am still trying to tell myself that I do not love him anymore.
We know that love is really special and deep. we know that it is something sacred. We are scared for the commitment we have to make when we say that we love someone and truly mean it.
Kristina
I believe that the reason we fear love is because some of us dont love OURSELVES the way we should! We lack that sense of "self-love" that it makes it hard for us to feel that we are unworthy of someone else's love. Because some people have low self-esteem, they often think to themselves that they're not good enough for someone in particular or they'll tell themselves that they will mess something up somehow.
Another reason why some fear love is the clear fact of getting hurt. they see what others go through when they're hearts are broken and they just dont want to feel that or go through it. Also, many of us do not know the full meaning of love. It's so complex that we tend to confuse ourselves with the true meaning of it!
Love can be complicated for some people that they just choose to stay away from it. It is taught that love really does not come to us, we as individuals, choose to accept the feeling of love and some just choose to pull away from it. There are so many reasons why people fear love...this is just my thoughts about it!
Yes, its true because if you are brought up with parents who are divorced, then you end up being afraid of love because your afraid that the samething would happen in your relationships.
Some causes that make people fear love is giving it your all in a relationship and not having the other person have the same feelings.
We runaway from love because we're afraid of it..We runaway from it because of the truth & the truth is knowing you like someone but you're just to afraid you might love again and get hurt.
ok....
well...first of all, seriously...love is like fear itself, or death. its something some of us have yet to experience.
its all natural. its yet to happen and well..if we're scared its not because you are intimidated its because your anticipating it, youre just excited about it.
some people also think that since we "have" to get our whole families approval, you know the mother uncles sons twin daughter that harasses(spelling?) you about your new boyfriend/girlfriend. but yeah whatever. i think that we're only afraid of it because we either havent experienced it, got hurt from it, or just dont know what it really feels like.
well...sorry mr. reyes!
i have to go because my parents are going to the PI for some surgery thingy tomorrow night and they need this time for the computer..
bye bye<3me
i think the reason why we fear love is because we do not want to get hurt. i think the fear of getting rejected is the reason why we run away from love. It sucks to know that the person you love does not feel the same way about you. We are afraid to love because we do not want to give it our all and end up having nothing. In my opinion, once again, i would say that love is complicated. we dont know if the love that we feel for other people is true or not. i still think that im too young to truely know what love is.
(adrian)
IN MY PERSONAL OPINION I THINK THAT MANY PEOPLE DO FEAR LOVE. I THINK THAT WHAT CAUSES THE FEAR OF LOVE IS THE FEAR OF GETTING HURT. I THINK THAT IT IS SOMETHING THAT WE ARE SO AFRAID OF BECAUSE NO ONE ENJOYS THE FEELING OF GETTING HURT-DUH-. I THINK THAT WE OFTEN RUN AWAY FROM LOVE BECAUSE OUR MIND IS NOT FULLY DEVELOPED TO ACCEPT LOVE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES THAT MIGHT BE PUT IN FRONT OF US. I THINK THAT LOVE IS A RISK THAT WE TAKE IN LIFE BECAUSE WE SHARE OUR DEEPEST THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS WITH A PERSON THAT WE THINK WE LOVE AND IF WE DO GET HURT IN THE PROCESS WE SHOULD REALIZE THAT IT JUST WASN'T MEANT TO BE. I THINK THAT WE WILL EVENTUALLY FIND LOVE WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT,LOVE IS LIKE A PLANT,IT NEEDS TO SPROUT AND DEVELOP INTO A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER...LOL
"DON'T HATE ME CUZ' YOU AIN'T ME"
I think that it is true...we really are brought up to fear love.
In today's society it isn't said directly to a person but you get the message mostly through what we see and watch on tv.
I think we fear love because we aren't comfortable with who we are.
when it comes to love we get scared because they might not like something or we often question "why would anyone love me?"
even just the thought of love itself is frightening because it just makes people react that way..
it's hard to explain..it's like a reflex..it's....
sometimes we run because of course we're afraid of getting hurt..we're afraid of letting something good happen to us and then have it taken away at any moment that you can't control.
I think that people fear love because of the feel of being hurt. (yes I know, it has been said so many times) Some people that do fear it have never experienced it first hand. So why fear something that you don't really know? We look to movies and other relationships to tell us what love is like, or give us an idea of what to expect. If you're only going to watch Romantic comedies for that reason, you're only messing yourself up. So to only know exactly what it's like, you have to give love a chance.
I am afraid of love. I'm scared of what happens when you're in love. Sometimes I feel I can do without it, but instead I end up falling in Love, or atleast what I think is love. Society is afraid to love so we substitute it with something else like sex or just the idea of falling in love, but in time we find that, that is not real love.
Real love is hard to find. And it usually takes years until you do find it. I may be cynical when I say that marriages that happen under twenty five dont last but I think that we are too young by then to know what true is.
I'm sorry Mr. Reyes, but this whole subject is just throwing me off. I can't really think of a proper answer. Atleast until I find it myself.
i strongly agree with the fact that modern culture is degrating our desire to show our affection and love. in our society today, people feel that there is a certain way that you have to look, smell, or taste and that it's the only way to pursuit love. these people tend to mistaken what they may think is love for infatuation or pure lust.
it wasn't always like this though. when i was only little, i was never afraid to jump on my mom or dad and show how much i loved them, but as my childhood progressed into young adulthood, the modern culture pulled me away from that emotional behavior and its sad. but what's even more sad is that we have a chance to do something about it before it gets even worse but we choose not to because we're too busy...sad!
justin
I think Love is the one thing that everyone fears at some point in their life. We all probably fear love because we are scared of rejection or fear getting hurt. Society tells us that we have to be a certain way for someone to love us, so if were not that way we feel were not worthy of love or not good enough to love. Sometime's I feel scared to love, and it doesnt have to be the romantic type of love but also friendship love. I fear that if i allow myself to open up others I'll be vulnerable and get hurt in the end,so i just dont let anyone in. I also, think people fear rejection, no one wants to face reality that someone out there doesnt love us, no one wants to be embarrassed or hurt.
well, in this modern day society it is true that we fear love. you can not love anything unless you love yourself. and in this society we are groomed to see the imperfections in ourselves which means that we dont love ourselves. we have liposuctions and diets to make our selves thinner, we have plastic surgeries to fix the things we think are wrong with ourselves, and we have the mentality that we are all supposed to look like models and movie stars. this enviornment is hostile to love and can only foster hatred. this mentality of striving to be better than what we naturally are results with us fearing to love others because of certain social pressure such as peer pressure.
Love is a scary thing. the emotion can be the most tramatizing thing in the world. but then again, "it's better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all.". in general, love is scary because people fear being rejected by other people that they may love due to social pressures.
In conclusion, People fear love because society makes us see ourselves imperfectly causing us too hate ourselves which contradicts the definiton of love which, in turn, makes people stray away from loving because people cant love others if they dont first love themselves.
The reason why most people fear love is because they do not want to get rejected or have separate feelings about each other. "Separate Feelings", meaning, "hey i love you!" and your partner is like in shock, '!in eli's voice!' There like, "oh man i do not know what to do." Pretty messed up, right. Another reason is getting divorced. Personally i have been in a household while my parents were going through a divorce. I was only 7 years old. you know what that can do to a kid. I hated it. It was the most awful experience in my whole life. I cried myself to sleep. Through the yelling I would punch my wall till my knuckles bled. This is why I dislike of love. As of right now I do not want to get married. When I am in a relationship, the real reason why I break it off is because I do not want it to get to serious where it would be more hurtful in the later run, but then i sort of regret doing this because I am not giving love a chance to marinate.
To me, the reason why we are afraid of love and why we often run away from it,is because of fear. We do not want take a chance and see what might happen in the future.
Quote of the day students, quote of the day...............................
"LAst C@LL FOUR @LCOhOL"
"The fear of love"
Most of us fear not love itself because deep down I have come to find that everyone wants/needs to be loved in some way; somehow.
"Believe it or not, most of us are
brought up in modern culture to fear love."
-See this is what we fear not "love" itself but the idea of "love."
Today's society says that we should view love a certain way, but "when it comes down to it no one can really explain love weather it's unconditional, intimate, friendly, etc... Yet love is universal."
You can't get rid of unconditional love it's God's gift to us, it gives us a chance to feel the way he feels about us. It will always be there daily, nightly, and ever-so rightly!
In intimate love,(relationships)
"Relationships don't work they way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won't they? And then they finally do, and they're happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y'know, watching romantic comedies. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do believe in it(love). Bottom line: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something. they will fight for it."
Sometimes we fear love in relationships because we are afraid of being vulnerable, or in some cases "happy." This is why the church teaches that Marriage is the only place you can truly express your love for another, giving of yourself mind, body, and soul... i know I know some of you may not agree but hey i didn't say i agree or disagree either... those who run away from it don't fear it they just don't want it in their lives right now (commitment issues.)
And as for love in friendship that's easy if you love your friends then you'll be there for them and they will be there for you... and I'm not talking about the "good friend" you call up when you're lonely...
but in all seriousness,
"LOVE is indeed a complicated feeling but it shouldn't be feared but it should be sought out..."
So I say to you
"Start the REVOLUTION and invest in LOVOLUTION."
1.Lovolution- the evolution of revolution; a non-violent movement for social freedom and economic justice; the belief that love is the heart of revolution and that the only revolution is to help spread love and promote world peace/tolerances.
Carlos
I think that many people fear love. I dont think that it is something that we are brought up to think, though. I think that this is true because when we start off with our 'romantic relationships' we are naive of what can happen when our 'guard isnt up'. I think that after we get our heart broken for the first time we learn from it and feel like we cant open up again. People can tell you all they want to 'be careful' and 'just keep your guard up'..but..
its the person's choice and you'll never TRULY love with all your heart by keeping your guard up. We shouldnt let being scared of love keep us away from being in it. I can say that i was afraid of love,
but when i realized that people are different.. i've found someone worthy of giving my love to.
We all know what causes us to fear love, but we all have different thoughts and opinions about that subject. The one thing we know what love is, is the love bond we share with our parents. We can yell, scream, and shout to them and in the end you will always love them and you cannot run away from their love however how much you try. The love that we do run away from is the love that hurts us both mentally and physically. The reason why i think we run away from love is that we are afraid to get hurt. in todays society we see the hurt in almost every corner we take. In movies, songs, friends, and family. This does not help with overcoming our fear of getting to love a person. if we often run away from love it's because we don't want to end up with tears all over our pillow. We don't want to admit to ourselves that we are afraid of love. People who play games of relationship are a perfect example of running away from the people who just wants to love them back. All we remember from our previous relationships is how they ended. The hurt we felt. The rejection coming or going to that other person, but what we dont remember is how it all started. The look across the room. The interest in each other. The smiles, laughes, and jokes you both shared. We dont see that after the hurt. its like a movie. Everyone rushes to see the beginnig of a movie-keep still through the middle-get excited in the end- and goes before the credits play. In love we tend to rush to hook up-the interest stays for a while-the hurt gets too exciting for you-then finally you go before you ever get to see that love credit.
For me i run away from love because i see what my bestfriends went through. im their sholder to cry on and i give them my advice. but i always ask them if they had fun with that person (not in a nasty way). if they enjoryed their time together? and they always tell me yes because for that moment they were happy. and maybe someday ill take my advice and not run. -SHAWLON
I DO BELIEVE THAT EVERYONE FEARS LOVE. IT'S NOT THAT LOVE IS EVIL OR BAD, IT'S THE UNKNOWN ABOUT LOVE THAT SCARES US ALL. IN CLASS WE TALKED ABOUT HOW LOVE CANNOT BE DIRECTLY DEFINED BECAUSE IT IS SUCH A MYSTERY. NO ONE KNOWS THE EXACT WORDS TO DEFINE WHAT LOVE IS. LOVE IS SO UNPREDICTABLE AND IT SCARES PEOPLE BECAUSE WE CAN'T BE SURE WHAT THE OUTCOME IS GOING TO BE. LIKE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE MENTIONED, WE ARE ALL SCARED OF BEING HURT AND LEFT ALONE. NO ONE WANTS THAT. IT'S NATURAL FOR US TO SEEK LOVE BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT GOD CREATED US FOR, TO SEEK LOVE AND GIVE IT.
FROM A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND UP UNTIL OUR CLASS WAS REALLY DEEP IN DISCUSSING WHAT LOVE IS AND FEAR OF LOVE, I TRULY BELIEVED THAT WE WERE SO IN LOVE AND HE WAS THE ONE. HOWEVER, TALKING MORE ABOUT REAL LOVE AND HOW SOMETIMES IT DOESN'T LAST FOREVER, LIKE WE HOPE IT WOULD, REALLY MADE ME QUESTION AND RE-EVALUATE WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR. I CAN'T REALLY EXPLAIN IT. I SPOKE TO HIM ABOUT WHAT WE DISCUSSED IN CLASS AND HOW I FELT AND I COULD TELL IT HURT HIM A LITTLE, BUT HE UNDERSTOOD...
WE STILL LOVE EACH OTHER AND AGREED THAT WHAT EVER HAPPENS IS UP TO GOD TO DECIDE.
CIANNA EDQUILANE
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